This is a test of the EMS

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.....

this is only a test....
if this had been an actual emergency, you would have heard nothing, saw nothing and nothing would have been reported. 

In fact this test never would have happened.

this concludes this test of the emergency broadcast system.

I was bored and came up with this. Well not really came up with it as I have heard it a bazillion times in my 40 years of living. I thought it was funny though.

plues I was testing something out for my wonderful wife.  Her screen went blank, so I was seeing if she was in the middle of typing something, and she couldn't publish it or save it, will it auto save. Answer, Yes.  so she should be good with restarting her computer with no issues.

I hope.




Thank you.

comments

Ok.  so I am a dufus.  i didn't know I have to enable comments on here. it is done now though so if you would like to go back and leave a comment to anything, please feel free to do so. 

Thanks

Your friendly plutonic sister,
Cayleigh

19 and I don't remember

When I was younger, around 19 or so, I dated this girl.  We will call her CW. At some point in the relationship I told her that I was going to go look for Breanna and try to make things work with her. This is when things got really bad.

I am not sure and it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense but I stayed with her after that for a period of time that I can't recall.  It doesn't make sense because I told her that I was leaving. Anyway, at one point she accused me of raping her. Called the cops and the whole works. This was a bogus claim and later in life she even said so. She said that she was in love with someone else and rather then just simply break things off with me, and move on with him, she called rape.

I got out of jail and went back home. CW called me up one day and asked me to come over so that she could apologize. Again, naive, I agreed and went over. She turned out to be home alone. This should have been a red flag to me. It wasn't. She took me into her bedroom and like a little lost stupid puppy I went. We were talking and all of a sudden one guy jumps out of the closet and another out of the room across the hall.

I started freaking. I had to have. I don't remember their faces but I can remember there silhouette's. They were big guys.  Lineman in football size. I am sure that I freaked out.

I was held down and from what I remember each took turns beating me. CW doing the most damage. At some point I started convulsing and they stopped. Then out of the goodness of their own hearts they called 911.  I remember getting out of the house and running, if you can call it that, from there house, down the short but curvy driveway, to the freeway, and down the road into town. I know I tripped and fell many time. At one point I saw the ambulance pass me with lights on going to where I just left. Moments, what seemed like days, I passed out. But not before seeing the ambulance again.

They either saw me and turned around or got to the house and turned around when CW and the guys told them I had left. I don't know and frankly don't care.

I spent some time healing and getting better. My physical injuries did finally heal and I am no worse off for them. But something else was injured in all of this. I suffer memory loss and PTSD from it.  I can't have my back to the wall of any door or the majority of the people in the room like at a restaurant unless it's a booth with a high back. Other things bother me as well.

My biggest issue is the memory loss.  You may have noticed that there is a lot of this story that simpy isn't included. No, I'm not trying a new writing style of being, not so forthcoming, about these events. I simply don't remember them and I have to piece what I remember, together, with what I am told and try to make a solid picture out of it.

Unfortunetely, I have a puzzle with a picture of the white house and I am afraid that I will never have all the piece to see the west wing. 

This is what she took from me. CW can never give me back my memories of anything that she took. Of the memory of being beaten, I can live without that. But she took something so much more valuable to me than that, she took my previous memories of Breanna from me and for that she deserves to rot in hell for her entire existence. She took my early childhood from me. It was already destroyed by my father and mother. It was burned, when our trailer with all our pictures caught on fire, it was taken when my father killed my step-mother, raped my step-sister, and molested my brother, sister and me. It was imprisoned right beside my father when he was incarcerated for murder and got off with a lesser charge.  Involuntary manslaughter I believe.

It walked out, when my mother gave us all up for adoption and to this day says that she simply couldn't do it.

I have already been beaten, bruised, chewed up, and spit out enough times in my life by this point. CW took what remaining strength I had left, what will power I had to go on, what character I sill possessed and beat it out of me, then stole all the memories of everything else.

I am tired of being scared to be in a crowded room or to go up to someone and say hi cause I am afraid of the charges i will face. Unfounded as that may be, it's a fear.

Well,  what do you think?

Harrassment

I came out at work some months ago.  Since that time I have been keeping them up to date on different things.

In the first open letter, I informed everyone that I would like to be identified as female.

Now I know this is really hard for most people that knew me before my transition. However, there is a new hire now. When he was hired he was introduced to me, rather I was introduced to him as Cayleigh. Female. I wear feminine clothing, I have breasts that are starting to show, I wear make-up and have a feminine name that I go by.

During the training process, I was to train this gentleman in what we do.  He is to take over my area, do I had to introduce him to my clients and inform evryone that he would be taking over.

There would be times where he would refer to me as "he", "man", etc... I sent out an email explaining to him that I prefer to be referred to as female.

He still refers to me as male and says, "sorry, I just don't see it."

This is frustrating as hell.

How long do you give someone before you finally just have it out with them?  I am pretty close.  At what point is it considered harrassment? Or is it simpy idiocy?

sigh........

The Childrens Views on My Transition as told by them.

 

by Cayleigh Wills on Saturday, July 30, 2011 at 1:15pm

**at the time of these writings, they were calling Cayleigh "Dama" - a cross between Daddy and Mama. As of today, they have decided that Daddy (which they used to call her) is no longer appropriate, nor is a name that includes Daddy in any way, and they are moving to call her Mom since they've realized that they call me Mommy/Mama/Mama, not Mom. All spelling/grammar is their own. And.. Lindsey refers to Jayla.. Cayleigh started to transition previously and that was the name she used at the time. We decided to choose a new name together.**

Leila (almost 6): Dama seems right. I like it wa mre. sue sems happier. I love it. It is right. I like it a lot. It is gratt. I am prodd. I love her. I like that there r 4 girls and 1 boy in the house. it is gratt. I like it. It's cool. {translation for those who don't read 5 year old: Dama seems right. I like it way more. She seems happier. I love it. It is right. I like it a lot. It is great. I am proud. I love her. I like that there are four girls and one boy in the house. It is great. I like it. It's cool.}

Joshua (8 1/2): Dama is tranze jenderd. I do not feel bad. I feel better because Dama's happier. I feel fine being the only boy becuse Dama can still teach me boy things.

Lindsey (almost 10): When I first met Dama, I didn't know how un-happy she was. I belive she went back from Jayla to James mostly for us but also to make shure that it was right for her to be a girl. It was so she was un-happy. After a few months - a year and a half I think - she went back to her true self, but she needed a new name. Now she is Cayleigh Danielle Wills. That name is special to me beause my middle name is Danielle. She seems much happier. I feel good about her being transgender. I know more so than ever that I will be exepted no matter who I am what I choose. I am more educated than even the smartest kids in class. I can make myself into anything I want. It is like I am a peice of clay - with a little imagination I may "mold" myself into anything and everything. I feel better now because I know my family is happy and Dama is happy because we have exepted her for who she is. When I first found out, I was surprised. I didn't find out the same way as Josh and Leila did. Well cleaning under the table I came upon a driver's license. It had the name Jayla, but I reconized the face as that of James's. I waited a few months before I sumoned enough corage to consolt Mom. I was cool with the answer. All the puzzle peices finally fit together. The mysterious girl who used to be a boy that mom was talking to on facebook and had dissipered as soon as we moved in with James, the certificates that said Jayla on them, the drivers license and the pictures of Dama dressed as a girl that our father mocked. When Dama took us to the pride parade we experianced just how many people just wanted to be themselves. When she started dressing as Cayleigh it took some time getting used to but now it is as normal as anything eles. Once, we were in the woman's part of a shoe store and we wanted to help so we asked 'what shoe size does Dad wear?' She was embarrest, so we made up a new name. She wasn't Dad anymore, but we already had a Mom. We chose Dama, which is a combination of Dad and Momma!

P-R-I-D-E by Lindsey Pilcher 10 year old girl

Diversity means everyone has a right to believe in himself or herself
Artist’s statement: Dare to dream of a world where everyone is accepted for who they are.


P-R-I-D-E
My family went to the Pride parade
And Pride is a big happy family
where everyone can be themselves
And there are no secrets.
And Pride is a rainbow-
The biggest rainbow stretching out across the sky
The greatest wonder of the world-
A mighty bridge to acceptance and eternal gratitude for love
And the people-
The beautiful people
Wild and strong
Walked down the street announcing their freedom
Great and terribly majestic
Amazing and noble and proud
Waiting to be unleashed into the world to speak their minds
Like a caged bird waiting to be set free.
And what makes these people who they are?
They have different beliefs about love
They are Lesbian or Gay or Bi-Sexual or Transgender or Queer
They are who they are- we are who we are
And they wish one wish together
So simply
To be accepted for whom they are
Into this world a one
Together they hold hands
And strive to create to world they see when they close their eyes at night
To struggle against the barrier- the invisible hands separating them from us
To become one
The People.
My family went to the Pride parade
And Pride is a big happy family
Where everyone can be themselves
and there are no secrets……….
Lindsey Pilcher Age 10
Posted with permission
Permission is given to pass along so long as credit is given appropriately.